Breast feeding...

Whoever said breast feeding was easy, lied big time! It's hard, exhausting and stressful but at the same time is easy, magical and a blessing! Breast feeding is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. Anyone who knows me knows I like sleep. When you're pregnant no one ever tells you there will be several (as in more than one) night your baby will want you an only you and along with that will want to eat ALL night long. They also don't tell you that you will question yourself a billion times if your baby is getting enough or if you're doing it right. They don't tell you that when daddy is holding the baby and you're making dinner that baby may scream the entire time no matter what daddy does because well only mommy has the food. They just don't tell you those things. They don't want to scare you away. I get it.

They don't always tell you the magical moments either like when your baby looks up and smiles 100% satisfied look on his face and you'll feel like a million bucks because your baby is happy with mommy's milk, his mommy's milk. It's easy because its there. No getting up in the middle of the night to warm a bottle, no buying formula that's easily $25 for a weeks worth (if that), and no icky formula smell. If you've never smelled a baby that's just had breast milk and then smelled a baby that had formula you'll see what I'm saying. It's so different. It's a blessing because I know that I'm providing my little one with the best possible nutrition that is made just for him and that whether our breast feeding journey ends next month or two years from now when he's ready to wean I know that the memories and bonding we having will last for the rest of my life and I've instilled a sense of trust and security in my baby.

To each their own whether formula or breast. I don't want to be judged for nursing in public just like I wouldn't judge another for giving their baby a bottle. Food is food. It's a hot topic lately and I never realized it before. I personally don't ever remember being around anyone breast feeding so bottles were the norm and I'm sure that's true for many people and its very unfortunate. Breast feeding is 100% natural and shouldn't have to be explained it should be expected and embraced.

Here's a pic of my little one latching on for the first time. Melts my heart. I have a video as well with the little precious sounds he made when he was eating.

"Is it healed yet??"

I say this several times a week, mainly on Monday, Wednesday and Friday when I go to the wound clinic for the dreaded wound vac dressing change, and when I say dressing I mean packing of foam into my c-section incision. The wound clinic is wonderful, they ooo and awe over my beautiful baby boy and say how amazing my husband is to take off work to take me to the appointments (praise God for FMLA) and for taking care of him while we are there but I am rather sick of seeing them! I never imagined when we were discharged from the hospital the first time (yes there was more than one, three to be exact) that I would be spending my entire maternity leave carrying around a wound vac rather than just my baby. I guess I never imagined going in for the second surgery either or how much more pain I would feel afterwards, considering I didn't feel much pain the week following his birth. Guess that's just how it is when things don't go as planned but the tears were shed by everyone involved and I had my moments where I lost it because it wasn't how we imagined it to be.

Back to the wound vac, I've had it for five weeks and tomorrow is the big day or well I hope it is where they say they don't have to put it back on! Was hoping to have lost it before Easter but that didn't happens so maybe this is the week!

Huge changes

It's been almost a year since I've posted anything, guess life got in the way and its been a wonderful journey!

In late June we found out that we were 8 weeks pregnant! I can't even describe the moment we seen the little heart beating on the screen! My husband and I were filled with every emotion. Our life would forever be changed!

Fast forward 12 weeks... We found out we were having a BOY!

The pregnancy was pretty easy and simple besides always measuring a little bit ahead of schedule. There was a little morning sickness all the way through but only once or twice a week so I couldn't complain.

Fast forward to February 16, 2013 to his birthday! It's been a wonderful adventure bringing this wonderful little boy into this world. He looks just like his daddy!